Winning against Depression - One man's struggle and insights

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Winning against Depression
One man's struggle and insights

Photo of the author, Dan Marold, on stage in a bodybuilding contest Dan Marold found the inner strength to overcome a serious challenge, and you can, too

Many people think a depressed person is weak. I did.

I worked out, played sports, worked hard installing flooring for a living. I never thought depression would be a problem for me.

But severe depression is not something you can train for. It strips your will to live - no matter how tough you are!

It struck me at 24 years old.

Surprise attack
My first and last panic attack came 4:00 a.m. a week before Christmas. I called the emergency ward. I was suicidal and needed help. Admitting I needed help saved my life.

But I didn't want any medication, I was tougher than that!

Depression is a physical illness. Many people think it's "only in your head" - maybe a little counseling is all it takes. Counseling can help, and I recommend it, but severe depression is also a chemical imbalance.

I finally took meds after months of suffering major chemical brain malfunction. Without medication I wouldn't be alive.

I was on so much medication, I used to fall asleep in my college library. It took a while to get the medication right. We all have different "brain chemistry," so it's usually necessary to try various meds to find what works best, with the least side affects. The meds helped give me strength to put my life back together.

Playing football
I started living everyday as if it was my last, because it could have been. At age 28 I asked my college football coach to play. He gave me the opportunity!

I put my entire education and life on credit cards to play college football and help pay for the meds that helped me beat depression.

When I first joined the team, I was horrible. I was laughed at more at 28 than at any other age!

At the end of my first year, I started getting better. In my second year, I was a running back and was honored with the "Unsung Hero" award by my fellow teammates, some of which laughed at me a year earlier.

I played with a fire so hot it stoked the rest of the team...at least the defense, who crushed me day in and day out! I never missed a practice and always suited up, playing through injuries.

I ran every play as it was my last! Teammates thought that I was tough for doing that! Tough may be running "face first" at linebackers, but it's running head on at a life challenge like depression that true toughness is born!

Then, because of my years of hard work as a natural bodybuilder, I was recognized for "Living a Dream," the title of their article that included me in Muscle Media, a prestigious fitness magazine published by Bill Phillips. I was a model with 3 beautiful women.

What I learned - how to defeat depression
It seems a contradiction: Depression almost killed me, but then it taught me how to live. I learned to deal with the illness, to live well and happily. You can too.

Also, it helps to see each day, even every minute, as a victory. It's important to fully appreciate all our efforts. Whatever ways you try your best, in fighting depression, at work and in relationships, is worthy of great appreciation, most importantly by yourself.

But as I've said, severe depression is a chemical imbalance. Willpower alone cannot defeat it. In fact, depression robs you of your desire to try.

It may take time to find the most effective medication with the fewest side affects, so the sooner you get started, the better. If you're seriously depressed, call a psychiatrist now. Psychiatrists are medical doctors with plenty of training in medications for all types of serious psychological challenges.

If you're considering suicide
Thoughts of suicide should be treated even more urgently. If you can't reach a psychiatrist right away, be sure to call 911 - now! They can refer you for immediate help.

I know first-hand that depression can make suicide seem the only choice. I was suffering so badly, I wanted to die to end the pain. As a human, I am designed to protect myself against pain. As strange as it sounds, my body was trying to take me out of the immediate pain by killing myself!

Fortunately, as I've experienced, you absolutely can feel better too!! Suicide is not the
answer! When you're really depressed, it's impossible to see how great you can feel again. Know that with depression your terrible feelings are normal. Many people experience it and most people today who get treated for depression feel better. That's true even with the most severe cases, as mine was.

As hard as depression can be, I have to admit, it taught me so much about how to live,
and how to enjoy life. I wish I didn't have to go though the extreme pain. But I'm certain the quality of my life and my accomplishments would have been much less without my experience of depression.

It's important to remember, you can't judge your future by what you're feeling now. You can overcome your depression, and you'll be glad you did. I sure am. Once you're free of this major limitation, you'll probably accomplish much more in your career and relationships.

And who knows how much good you'll also be able to do for others? I'm now able to help many others, based on my own experience.

An important issue
Our nation needs more education, inspiration and hope for depression. I'm working to do my part to make that happen. But I absolutely cannot do it without you! That is why I have developed the "FollowMe" slogan. I want you on the team.

In my football career, you might say I played with a "Follow me" sticker on the back of my shoulder pads. We can all join the "team" to end stereotypes about depressions and help many other who have this physical illness,

Dan Marold is planning a speaking tour and preparing a book on effective ways to deal with depression. He welcomes your feedback and questions at FollowMe28@charter.net.

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Copyrights: Entire website © 1997 - 2007 by Hearts and Minds Network, Inc., photo © 2005 by Bill Blackman. This web page - http://www.heartsandminds.org/self/depressiondan.htm - online August 10, 2006, latest update September 28, 2006

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